Remembering a song
by Wega the blue sun
Summary: Iroh and Zuko take a break along the way and meet someone from Iroh's past.


Remembering a song

An Airbender: the last Avatar fan fiction by Wega the blue sun

No copyright infringement intended, only the original character belongs to me. And this fic belongs to me, too.

"Firebenders", my grounds keeper murmurs while he watches the approach of the small group of armed men. He has no love for them, most of his family died at the infamous siege of Ba Sin Sei, the great city that wouldn't fall to General Iroh.

I've never been to Ba Sin Sei, but I do know the General very well. In fact, he is in this search party which has nearly reached the outer edge of my property. My spy glasses show me that Prince Zuko is also present, and that explains the presence of this small gathering of firebenders.

By now rumors have traversed the land and just about everyone knows that Zuko is searching for the avatar in order to reclaim his honor so he may return to his father. I also know that Iroh has been with Zuko for these last two years and they've searched in vain. There is no avatar here, he hasn't visited this area yet. Zuko will be disappointed again. I suspect this little detour is Iroh's doing.

"Tell them at the house not to worry and to have some tea ready", I say to the grounds keeper and make my way to the gate to welcome the new guests. "What a pleasure to see you again, Lady Fe! You are as lovely as always!" Iroh addresses me politely, his eyes shining with delight. I smile at him, knowing that he lies about my appearance. Every day my mirror tells me that my beauty is truly well and gone. Iroh doesn't understand how painful it is to lose one's looks when looks is all one has, but I still accept the compliment gracefully. He means well, I know that.

"I am honored by your visit, General Iroh", I reply. "You look well, too. And greetings to you, Prince Zuko." I bow to both men and they respond in kind. Zuko seems unsure what to make of me. He's never met me, he's probably never heard my name before. But he is too wellbred to admit his curiosity openly and ask questions.

"I'd be honored if you'd join me for tea", I say and gesture towards the house, barely visible in the gloom of the deep forest. Iroh nods enthusiastically. "I'd love to, but may I ask for some refreshments for our men and animals, too? It has been a long journey, and this land is dry ..."

"I will have my servants bring whatever is needed", I hasten to assure the General. No one goes hungry or thirsty in my home, neither man nor beast. Zuko casts a glance at his uncle who gives him a wry smile in return. "Maybe you'd like to tour the gardens, Prince Zuko? Lady Fe has collected many unusual plants from many countries." The young prince gratefully accepts this opportunity to avoid yet another session of tea. He is too impatient to sit with his elders and prefers to be off on his own.

As Iroh and I walk towards the house he admires the majestic trees along the way. Most were saplings when he sent them from whatever country he was conquering at the time. "It's like an oasis in the desert" he says and I have to agree. My home is a large area of land surrounded by devastation and war. The fire nation intends to subjugate all lands and all people and only few places are free of this evil influence. My servants and I work hard, we are the stewards of this land that provides shelter from the ever encroaching wildfire from the East.

Once inside the tea room he settles down comfortably. Although he appears in good health Iroh isn't young anymore, and in the light of the afternoon sun his years show plainly. The tea is ready and I pour him a cup of the steaming fragrant liquid and offer some of the sweet cakes that traditionally are served alongside. He declines the sweet and takes a sip of his favorite beverage. I bite into a cake but forgo the bitter tea. It's always been like that between us, tea for him and sweets for me.

He motions to the tall string instrument in the corner of the room. "Just like old times", he says with a smile. But he doesn't ask me to play, for he has noticed that my hands have changed. Once strong and flexible my fingers are now painfully swollen with arthritis, the scourge of the aged.

I try to hide my hands in my long sleeves, although I've had to accept physical changes due to old age I am still vain. But he will have none of that and gently cradles my hands in his own. "Do you remember the song?" he asks. "What's sadder than the meeting of old lovers" I sing in reply and his eyes twinkle. Once we used to laugh at this sentimental ditty, because we were young and couldn't imagine ever growing old. Now the song recalls memories - some sweet, some bitter.

Many years ago I was proud that my beauty turned many men's heads. General Iroh was one of my admirers, as was his younger brother Ozai. I enjoyed their attentions and encouraged both suitors, but made it clear I didn't mean to settle down with just one lover. Ozai was the more handsome of the two and destined for greatness, but this was offset by a cold and demanding personality. Iroh wasn't as physically imposing as his brother, but his inner qualities were sterling. Already an accomplished military commander he was known to be intelligent and wise, suitably ruthless in battle but also appreciative of the finer things in life.

The brothers were famous throughout the land and many women tried to gain their favor, but I had both of them at my feet. Ozai showered me with gifts of jewels and gold while Iroh charmed me with his witty personality and keen appreciation of my musical talents. Simple flirtations led to serious affairs but neither brother was satisfied to be merely one of my lovers. Both were proud and both wanted all I had to give.

Ozai pressed for a decision, while Iroh calmly waited for me to make up my mind. He trusted that I would judge him to be the better of the two and Ozai trusted that my pride would drive me to become his in hopes of becoming queen.

In the end, both brothers were surprised and disappointed when I chose neither. In his rage Ozai turned his back on me while Iroh philosophically accepted this first bitter defeat. Each man had qualities I admired, but neither had everything I wanted in a husband. Back then I searched for the perfect man, unwilling to understand that perfection doesn't occur in our flawed race.

My decision to refuse both brothers was also influenced by the way the affair affected their dealings with each other. I knew they were close in that quiet, unsentimental way proud men have about themselves. But lately I'd witnessed something disturbing. I'd seen each man taking the measure of the other, not seeing a brother but a rival, comparing and judging and losing more of the love and respect brothers destined for greatness should share.

What was I to do? Was I proud enough to drive a permanent wedge between the two or did I care enough about them to take myself out of the equation? And so I left the city where I had been so vain and turned my back upon my old lifestyle. Ozai was glad to see me go, but Iroh still cared and made sure I'd lack for nothing. My life here is safe and comfortable because of his generosity and protection.

Sometimes I still wonder if Ozai knows about this home, about me? Nothing much escapes the notice of the Firelord's attention and one day Ozai might remember me. I hope to die before he visits. To judge from what he's done to the land and the people I'd rather not meet him again.

"Will you stay a little longer?" I ask hopefully. "It's getting late and I could arrange ..." A rustling in the bushes outside the tea room interrupts me and shortcuts Iroh's reply. Zuko's dark silhouette appears in the open door. "We'd better leave", he says, golden eyes fixed on his uncle. "It is getting late." "Forgive us, Lady Fe, my nephew is impatient, but he is right. We do have to continue further today." Iroh says, his voice even as always.

Zuko leads the way back to the search party wile Iroh and I trail behind, as old people are wont to. As Zuko's view is blocked by a high hedge I take the opportunity and quickly kiss Iroh. He embraces me and we rest in each others arms again, like we used to so long ago.

The impatient prince turns back only to find us like this, and his acute embarrassment is plain on his scarred face. Once I was too young to understand that even the old can experience passion, and he will learn in time, too. We spare him further humiliation and quietly make our good-byes.

I wonder if Zuko will ask about me. But what could Iroh tell him? This is someone I once knew, and but for a quirk of fate my life could have been different. I assume he will not tell Zuko anything.

I've often wondered what my life would have been like if I'd accepted either one of the brothers. Maybe I would have been a queen, or I would have been the lonely wife of the General who's never at home. I could have been Zuko's mother, or maybe I could have been dead. I am not dissatisfied with my life, but when I grow weary on long days I think back to the fateful decision. Knowing how things turned out, was there any point in refusing either man?

I wave my aching hand until the search party becomes invisible in the distance. The old song keeps ringing in my ears. "What's sadder than the meeting of old lovers? Wondering if they will ever meet again", I whisper as I walk back to my lonely house. 


End file.
